perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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