she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize