He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize