no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize