Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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