No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize