You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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