Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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