It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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