Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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