the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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