Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Randomize