I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
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Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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