u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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