I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
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He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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