4 words: hood of his car
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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