Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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