I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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