I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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