Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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