ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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