so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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