Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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