Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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