fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think people are normalizing furries
God, I missed his penis.
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