I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize