shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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