I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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