He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize