Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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