Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize