Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
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Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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