Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize