dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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