piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize