On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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