am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize