I heard we made out
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize