Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize