i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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