Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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