You're so nebulous sometimes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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