We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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