I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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