no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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