I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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