just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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