My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize