true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize