My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize